Chris

As if heartache's not heartache enough anymore.

SORRY. :(

Let's get right to it and get everyone updated. I just had a 4 day weekend and it was pretty fantastic. I was home, natch, and did a lot of Rock Band playing and movie watching. We went bowling, I took a few walks around town to enjoy the fall atmosphere, and spent some time with my parents and grandparents. Awesome times.

I came back Tuesday night and went out to Olive Garden with some friends. It was my friend's girlfriend's birthday and we all had a great time as always. I love their salad, and their breadsticks, and their chicken alfredo. I got mocked for getting hot tea. Oh well.

Went over to their place afterwards for cake, and it was pretty good. Then we watched Curb Your Enthusiasm. I'd never seen the show before, but it was really funny and I want to see more of it.

Blah blah. Came home, slept, woke up feeling crummy. I managed to make it to class since I only had 2, but missed work. I came home and proceeded to play World of Warcraft ALL NIGHT LONG.

My priorities right now are not straight at all. Today I think I really need to get back to getting stuff done, so I'm not letting myself play WoW till I am caught up again. Of course this weekend a bunch of my friends are coming down so I definitely won't be getting much done this weekend. Ugh.

I just need to focus, and quick, or I will regret it.

Anyways, today I feel pretty terrible too, but I know I need to at least make it to my group meeting for Systems. I'm a bit worried about our project in there too. We had a meeting at the C.H.U.M. office Friday that revealed we had more work than we anticipated, but hopefully we will be able to handle that.

My friend Amanda has talked me into started a book club with her, which is pretty funny and should be fun. The first book we are doing together is the next one in my Goth Lit class, The Collector. I think it'll be fun, and also inspire me to actually read the book for once. Fingers crossed.

Ok. Now I am going to try to not forget about my blogging responsibilities so much. See ya later!

I and I worth taking control of our lives, everythings alright.

So school has been going alright and Monday is the day I choose my classes for the last semester, but who cares about that junk? I went and saw Henry Rollins last night!

I met up with Brad, Sarah, and Smuda at Starbucks and picked me up a white hot chocolate, my favorite beverage. I really don't see the appeal of coffee, even the lightest of coffee drinks tastes crummy to me. I can have a latte with a lot of flavoring every once in a while and even the occasional frappachino isn't bad but, even those refuse to not have a crummy aftertaste to me.

We walked from where we parked up hill for 5 blocks which was fun. Oh, and yeah there were parking spots right in front. We are smart.

We waited outside for the doors to open and shot the breeze for a bit. At one point we were detailing a party we were going to in our hometown in International Falls Saturday night, where we are celebrating UFC (Larry's cousin Sean Sherk is fighting that night), Sarah's birthday, and Halloween for some reason. Some guy butt into our convo saying, "You aren't going to believe this, but I'm going to that party! I live on Sarah's floor man!" Apparently he was misled to believe the Sarah in question wasn't the one with us, but some other mystery person attending school in Duluth. And also that we were talking about Friday night.

I dunno man. I would never make such a leap of faith with a group of strangers, the chances of us talking about the same party were slim to none as it was. Brad was just like "What are you saying?" but the guy didn't get the hint and just thought we were as incredulous as he was. So we just played along and said we'd see him there, and laughed about it once he was out of sight.

We went inside and it turned out the Sacred Heart Music Center we were at was a desanctified church. A very strange location for Mr. Henry Rollins, who doesn't exactly share my Christian faith. Course as he explained himself later, it's his people that pick the places he speaks at.

He came out, and since we were front row he was about 6 feet away all night. It was pretty awesome. He talked a lot about the election and about his views on the world, freedom, and humanism. He had a lot of great anecdotes, like his recent work in film, his travels to the middle east, and encounters with airport security. Overall, it was a hilarious night full of brilliant insight and concepts to reconsider and think over. He's a pretty awesome guy.

His basic message was that there is a lot of terrible stuff in the world but you have to question the media and authority all the time and see for yourself was people are like, such as these middle easterners everyone is so scared of. It was a great message and it's one we need in this time of fear mongering. He also has inspired me to start keeping random journals of whatever I am thinking about, given that he does the same and it's always crossed my mind. I figure now is as good a time as any, and plan on buying a composition notebook to fill next chance I get. Should be interesting. One important distinction though is that I can't be writing for other people. While writing for others occasionally inspires me, it also restricts me, and those inspirations are few and far between. Maybe if I just write for myself for a while I'll learn something new.

Somehow he talked for 3 hours and it didn't feel that long at all. What a good night.

Today has been typical. Lacey from Goth Lit texted me an hour before class wondering why no one was in class, so that was pretty funny. Otherwise nothing out of the ordinary, cept after my last A.I. class ever I need to go to the C.H.U.M. office with David for a few hours to learn how to use the new database. I am not exaclty looking forward to this. I am actually kind of dreading it and wish I could just go home. I am really looking forward to starting my 4 day weekend and now I won't get home till 8 or later. Garg.

What ev, just go with the flow I suppose. Anyway, go watch some Henry Rollins speeches on youtube, and I'll chat at you later.

I nodded and found myself wishing I could still feel you when I turned out the lights.

Henry Rollins tomorrow night in Duluth. I am pumped.

Henry Rollins was the lead singer of a few punk bands, most notably Black Flag. He's gonna be speaking downtown and all the times I've seen him speak online and on DVD have been highly entertaining. I am really looking forward to it, honestly, and am surprised he even came here. So awesome.

Let's see, beside that, what is up? WoW is going smoothly, level 62 now. I'm pretty happy about it. I've been playing more Smash Bros with the roomies lately. Work is goin alright and I have a 7 hour shift tomorrow which should be a blast like it always is.

Class? Well, I dunno. Database Modeling isn't going as smooth as I'd like. I did pretty bad on the midterm and am down to a B+, and it'll probably only go downhill from there. I am a bit worried honestly about this class. Actually, I'm worried about ALL my classes. I don't know what it is about this semester but all my classes just feel impossible to get A's in. They aren't tough classes but I just keep losing points on the dumbest stuff and am perplexed as to why.

I get back my essay from Goth lit Friday. I hope it got to her, for some reason I had trouble e-mailing to her last year so that might have happened again. Even if it didn't I am not sure how I could have made my essay better, and I probably got a B on it. Blah. Goodbye 3.8.

Anyway, A.I. ends soon and I think I got a B+ in there too because of all the random point losses. Don't even get me started on all the points I've probably lost in System Implementation.

So it's all very stressful and frustrating, but hopefully things will turn around here in the second quarter. It's too late to do anything about A.I., but oh well.

Bargh. Anyway, I'm gonna go worry some more. TTYL.

And I feel nothing, not brave, it's a hard day for dreaming, again.

So my weekend was purty good. I just spent time with my friends and family as usual. Did some skateboarding and played some Rock Band. Can't complain.

Something about today just would not end. It just dragged on and on. Databases was a typical class, we are now going into SQL database programming which seems deceptively simple. Hopefully I will be able to handle it at least as well as the database modeling we've done thus far.

Goth lit today was just discussing Rosemary's Baby. What a weird movie, and it was funny to talk about how terrible the devil looked in the film. That movie was crazy given the way the lead woman was treated by her husband and others, but I guess being talked down to by your husband was somewhat normal in the 60's. It's a good time to live in that things aren't so much like that anymore.

Almost done with Artificial Intelligence. Just 2 more classes, and then that means more free time than ever before. Maybe I will actually put work into finding an internship as well? I hope so.

Then in Systems Implementation not much happened, cept we played a funny communication game. With 2 teams of 6 that had to share limited information with nothing but post it notes, it was a pretty fun time. Our team won quite easily, which was cool.

Other than that, i should have done my laundry tonight and didn't. But tomorrow I will definitely be doing it. Right now though I'm just watching some wrestling and winding down.

I wish my life were more interesting at the moment, but, nope!

I'm gonna be going home yet again this weekend because I'm going to a UFC PPV party in my hometown. My friend is cousins with Sean Sherk, a former champion of UFC, and since he's fighting we are making a big deal out of it. Should be good times.

Alright, maybe Wednesday something cool will have happened. Later.

We came this far to tear the curtain, shed light so I can see your eyes.

Things are going smoothly... for now. :|

Turned in my essay to Goth lit and I should get at least a B on it. Fingers crossed for an A-. I'm not doing TERRIBLE on my assignments for Database Modeling, and our midterm Friday is not only just on the last few chapters, it's open book, so that's not a big worry for me anymore.

A.I. is OK too and I'm almost done. I did pretty good on the test Monday I think, and I just have another week to go before I have my 2 credits for the class fulfilled. Then maybe I'll get motivated to try to find an internship. Geez am I ever lazy.

Apparently a friend of mine is touring the college today. She just informed me via text. We are both pretty busy so we have no idea if we are gonna run into each other or not. So it's just kind of a funny wild card to my day.

Warcraft, my main hobby lately, is going pretty well. Level 58 woot. I'm stuck in Outlands getting nothing done though because the people in my guild are never available to help me and I'm pretty helpless out there. Sigh.

ANYWAY. At 2 I go sit with Diana Johnson one last time to determine my classes for next semester. Pretty exciting. I looked at the class listings but I have no recollection of what I need so, pffft. I know I need a spiritual class so I'll probably just take intro to the bible. I don't remember if I need more english or not. If I do, I'll probably take Linguistics. Pretty high level, but I'll probably never be in school again so I'll just go for broke. Otherwise it'll be computer classes for me, and I just want to take the ones that will  most likely translate into real world skills. I still feel woefully unprepared for the real world of computers, so I just want to be trained on a task I can then be paid money to do. Is that so much to ask?

After that I need to work on my System Implementation project and ugh. I'm really not looking forward to that. I doubgt I am going to be a project manager of any sort in my career and this class is all about the documentation of a project and the actual doing of it. As for how to actually do this one I'm pretty much leaving that to David, cause I sure have no clue. So I've basically been hanging back, but it's gonna be me and him that actually learn how to and then implement the system. Pretty exciting. I just want us to get it done on time so we can get good grades and never think about it again.

That's about all I have to say. Late.

Learn to drown before you learn to swim.

Man, how did I forget about blogging yesterday again? Oh well, here goes!

So Thursday is when I pick classes for my last semester at St. Scholastica. I haven't had the chance to check the class list yet, but if I remember correctly I need a spiritual class and I may be wrong, but I may need an english class still to fulfill my minor. Otherwise, I need some hard computer classes to fulfill my major. I am really hoping I get good computer classes, ones that will really train me for a career so that I am not entirely useless once I graduate. I just want to have the skills necessary for a good job when I get out. That's the dream anyway.

But the current economy does concern me. Maybe it will recover by the time I'm out there in the real world. Maybe it won't. I think it's valid to worry that maybe I won't be able to find a job after I graduate for a while. But hey, you just gotta go with the flow as far as these things go or you'll go crazy.

My weekend was pretty dull overall, except I had a fun night Saturday night with my old room mates. We went out to Applebees (Or as we call it, Grizzlebees) and then went back to their place to play Mario Kart Wii and drinking games (since I don't drink, I just participated with Jones Soda) and it was good times.

Sunday though was a day long homework day. Ugh. What a lame day.

Anyway, in class Monday we went over our rough drafts in Goth Lit. I always appreciate peer review sessions cause they really open your eyes to your weaknesses as a writer, of which I have many. So I have to finish that essay at some point tonight. As well I took a quiz in A.I. and I think I did OK? I'm not sure really. I MUST have gotten at least a B. I really hope. It was only 25 points so if I lost one point on every questions that's a B-. Fingers crossed.

Anyway, today I planned on going to the school to work and I just went back to sleep when my alarm went off. Last night my friend kept me up till 2 playing WoW (level 57 w00t) and it didn't help I stayed up a half hour later to watch the rest of Die Hard With A Vengeance. Could not get up today at all. It was ridic.

But anyway shortly I am going to go to the school anyway because I have to watch Rosemary's Baby for Goth Lit. I know nothing about this movie. So, that should be amusing.

Guess I may as well go do that today, cause if I wait to do it I won't be able to while also making up my work study hours for the week.

Alright. Later dudes. I'll try to remember to actually do this regularly in the future.

We;re all suburban soldiers who've got no one to count on.

Well, look what I forgot to do again. Sorry.

This week didn't have any particularly memorable moments I guess. I've been eating a lot of macaroni hot dish with ground beef and crushed tortilla chips. Mm mm. Lots of brownies too.

Work is typical, we've just been doing mailings and stuff. Mailings actually give me an opportunity to get to know my coworkers better since it's just us sitting in a room watching movies and doing brainless work. It's pretty enjoyable. I was told today by a coworker that I look like a Roger, so, that's a new one I guess.

Database Modeling is tougher than I thought. I totally bombed on that assignment as expected, and yeah. But all it'll take is some studying to get ahead on that.

Gawd, I have quite the weekend ahead of me still though. I need to cram for a big A.I. test Sunday night. Saturday I have to write my draft for my Gothic Novel essay on a book I didn't read. Friday night I have to pound out 2 Database Modeling assignments. Guh. Not fun. Anti-fun, really.

I just feel kinda out of it and confused right now so I'm just floating along with no direction. I'm a little overwhelmed at the moment too with all my homework and my Systems Implementation project and getting my resume done (finally).

I need to regroup.

I'll be back Saturday. Hope I remember. Half considering asking my boss to send me e-mail alerts to get my head together and get on here.

Haha, anyway, sorry so short, keep it real.

Sister Charlatan

I had an OK weekend.

I went to the eye doctor Friday with my parents to make sure I don't have glaucoma. I've been being monitored for it my whole life, and we had a recent scare because my IOP was way too high.

But I met my new doctor, and she is really cool, and we did some easy tests which told us that I do not, in fact, have glaucoma. Awesome. I still will need to get monitored for it for the rest of my life, every 6 months same song and dance. Just gotta stay on top of it in case something develops, you know?

We stopped to eat the The Elroy or whatever it's called outside of Virginia, and it was pretty good. I couldn't see very well cause my eyes got dilated, so that's always fun to be blinded by the sun when you aren't even looking at it. Me and my dad, who drove me home, messed with the new GPS system he just bought. I can't believe it took this long before I could see and mess around with one. Pretty neat, wouldn't mind one myself.

Not much happened at home this weekend. Friday night I went to my high school's homecoming game and we got trounced. After that went back to my friend's place and just hung out, not doing much at all.

Saturday was more of the same. Me and my buddy and his girl went to a restaurant for lunch, and he ordered mexican hash browns without meat, cause he's a vegetarian. The waitress brings back his order, we immediately discover there is meat in it, and we sit there for 20 minutes waiting for her to come check on us while she checks on everyone else.

I used to work at this place, and I knew this waitress was a little... well, something isn't right in her head, so I wasn't surprised. She finally came back and I took up the cause for my cowardly friend, and she said she'd take it off the bill and that it must have been the cook's fault.

He gets his bill, and we see the problem: She specified there be no meat in THE MILKSHAKE. Wow. Thank goodness he got a meatless milkshake out of the deal. It was 60 cents cheaper thanks to the subtraction as well.

Rest of the day was uneventful. Played some Rock Band, watched some movies, just chilled with everyone. Sunday was nothing special either, except I sat up extraordinarily late doing homework which was harder than expected. Blah.

Today I brought my resume in to be looked over, and Megan was the intern I spoke with. She was really helpful and helped my resume out big time. I definitely recommend going to see her if you think your resume needs work.

Otherwise, normal class day, and now I have more homework to do plus I have to work 17 and a half hours this week to make up the 2 and a half I wasn't able to do last week. Guh. Just another week in the life.

Alright, gotta go, late.

I'm an addict for dramatics, I confuse the 2 for love.

So I have an eye appointment shortly to make sure I don't have glaucoma. Kinda scary.

As you may know, glaucoma could potentially equal "yer goin blind" time for me. I have always had a couple symptoms of it since I first saw an eye doctor when I was 11. The back of my eye is curved in a way similar to what glaucoma does to you, as well as my eye pressures are moderately high, which is never good.

You can have glaucoma and never know until it's too late without testing. We have been keeping an eye (lol) on it for a while now and nothing has changed since I was a kid which is the important thing, but consistently high pressures could be causing problems none of us are aware of.

I recently got a second opinion on my eyes for the first time ever, and was told that it truly looked like glaucoma, and the only way I'd know is with more sophisticated testing, which is what i am getting done in Virginia today.

I really hope nothing shows up. If anything does, it should be treatable. Just eye drops for the rest of my life. Whatever. I already have enough health problems for a 21 year old, but I really have no right to complain given some of the problems other people have. So I won't!

3 days straight of no class was nice, but stressful since I totally neglected the homework assigned Monday till the last possible minute, and did a poor job at that. I'm not very smart.

Sunday night is going to be really busy as well given the homework I didn't get done that's due Monday. Ugh wow.

So I am getting my resume read over Monday and I feel embarassed. My resume is pretty pathetic even by college kid standards. Hopefully she doesn't laugh at me.

Anyway, it's been a pretty dull week, just been doing work study and being incapable of waking up on time for anything. I'm going home this weekend so, that will be awesome like always. I have a gift certificate to a restaurant and I am looking forward to free tasty food.

Whatev. Let's try this again Monday. Later gator.

You must be crazy if you think I'll stand back, yeah.

My titles don't mean anything anymore. Last year I tried to have some sort of theme or point, even a minor correlation. But now I just post whatever song lyric is bouncing around my head.

Pretty unexciting week thus far. Monday was par for the course. We started Dracula in Goth Lit. By "We" I mean the class because I haven't even looked at it yet, but I plan on doing so shortly after this blog. I am the world's worst procrastinator, no doubt.

Other than that I still have a couple days to get done with my small paper in A.I., my two quizzes in Database Modeling, and a journal I have to get started for my group in Implementation.

My chief concern currently of course is, as always, the internship. What in the world am I going to do? Right now I am just trying to finish my resume, but the intern in career services has yet to get back to me. Once again, some new internships came in and... I can't do them. They are in the cities and I am kind of going to school here? Blarg.

I could just work for free at some computer fix it store but, I'd rather get some experience in a relevant field so I can actually get a job upon graduation. That is becoming more and more of a pipe dream though. I'm pretty worried.

Yesterday I did nothing at all. Slept in till noon, went and bought a bunch of junk, and went home to enjoy it.

I got a "To Write Love On Her Arms" shirt because I've always wanted one. It's pretty awesome. For the uninitiated, TWLOHA is a group doing work and raising money to prevent suicide. I find it to be a very worthy cause, as I have had my own experiences with depression and can understand how helpless one can feel in that state. These people definitely need help, and we should do whatever we can to support them.

I bought a pair of shorts at Old Navy to wear once my leg doesn't look so sillty with the giant patch of no hair on my otherwise hair legs. That way I can show off my tattoo and receive kudos and/or derision for what I have decided to permanently brand on myself.

I got Forgetting Sarah Marshall at Barnes and Noble and got ripped off. $27 dollars. Pretty sure I could have went to Kmart and picked it up for 20. So I feel kinda dumb there, but oh well, I just have to remember to not do my DVD business there anymore. I still kinda need to buy books from them though.

Finally, I got 3 awesome CD's that just came out. The new Bleeding Through album is being touted as metal album of the year, and while I think Haste The Day's offering this month is going to beat it out, it is a very solid effort and pretty awesome.

One bone of contention: This band used soundclips from Boondock Saints on one of their albums and while I thought it was cool hearing that at 16, I just decided it was stupid, especially when I saw the movie and decided it was just boring macho posturing cinema for BroGuyMans. Whoa dude, they like, shoot people and stuff! Bleh.

Well on the new album, they non-ironically conclude the intro track with Leonidas from 300 yelling, "TONIGHT! WE DINE! IN HELL!" and I rolled my eyes so hard they popped out of my eye sockets and rolled into a nearby sewer grate.

Maybe it's just the little hipster inside of me that doesn't think anything is cool if it's not obscure, but come on. 300, really?

But the main event were the 2 Bayside albums that just dropped. They are easily my favorite band on Earth and have been for a couple years, and probably will remain to be for some years more. They put out a live album that is absolutely phenomenal. I am very happy with it, and it makes me wish I could see them live right now. They are playing on October 10th, but I am not making plans to go see them. Maybe, just maybe, if tickets are available still next Monday I will consider it since I wouldn't have to miss any school and I'd have a place to stay. But I'd have to go alone. Lame.

The other Bayside album that dropped is their new full length, and I haven't had a chance to listen all the way through yet but what I've heard is pretty awesome. I am sure it will grow on me further as well, like their last album did. I am pretty excited about that.

I am slowing down pretty drastically on WoW. Leveling has been fun thus far and Friday night was awesome, but now that I am 50 as of last night and I have my awesome 2 handed sword, I just don't feel very motivated. My guild rarely does things together, it's more like a group of friends that quest independently. And getting from 50 to 70 is insanely difficult to do, just because the getting of XP is so slow. It just seems like it's going to be a big chore and I have other stuff going on in my life right now, or rather I should be working on other stuff in my life at this point.

But that is enough rambling for today, I'll be Bach.